i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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