Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
