nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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