guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
