So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
