we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
