NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
