u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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