i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
that is very illegal...i love you.
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