tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
