Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
