Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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