sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
