do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
