you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
