She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
