I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
