Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
