the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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