On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
