He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize