yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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