Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize