I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why is there bacon in the couch?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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