The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize