It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
