I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
