So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
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