She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize