Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize