I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
