I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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