I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
