There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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