I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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