i jhust puked up my retainher.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
