Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
