covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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