I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
