sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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