Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
