So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's shark week go big or go home
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize