He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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