I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
