so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
