im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
