5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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