This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
