I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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