I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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