we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's blow job season.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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