I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
sex in a hospital.. check
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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