We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
