Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
