Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
