im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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