Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
