So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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