I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize