She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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