That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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