I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
