I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
