yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
