I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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