I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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