there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize