We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
