So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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