my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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