Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
