he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
