What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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