you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
