6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
