Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Everclear isn't food dammit
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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