she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
