I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
