K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
